Timeline of Grace

Journey through the Seasons

Category: Poetry

That Mum

1175188_10151667207779545_1258627034_n

I get wound up
When I hear them say
Look at her
She doesn’t even play
with her son
she’s on her phone
She doesn’t care
Shame

I get fed up
When they hover
over their playing child
over their exploring baby
So scared of being
judged for not seeing
their children
unable to just be
Normal

Would you like to trade lives
With that mum
who can’t face ‘inter-acting’
as you like to say
with her son
because she just needs to breathe
Home’s a depressive space
laundry and endless mess and countless jobs undone
She’s never learned to do.

Overwhelming
So she comes out
to get a break
to give her kid the chance to play
to make mistakes
to be accepted amongst the ranks

But he bites and hits
and oh look!
she doesn’t notice
or at times she overreacts.

Would you trade your life for her’s
Just for one day?
Would you spend one night in her house?
with a disinterested or non existent partner and all her fears and self doubt?

Give her a break
Let her finish her cup of tea
Look her in the eyes
when you ask her how he’s sleeping
or If she’s sleeping
let her vent
Assure her it’s normal
That yours did the same
even if they didn’t.

We get into our cars
She covers her pram
We feel the heat come on
it warms up our cosy space
while she walks up the hill
every single day

But we sigh when we hear him scream
We wonder what she could be thinking
He’s so out of control
She’s just on her phone
We forget as we sit in our comfort zone
That she feels so alone

Give her a break
She’s one of us
That Mum

 

Run from Grace

Running from Grace
Because I
know better
how to deal
with me
Running from Grace
terrified
preferring to hide
to inflict my own
punishment
on me
because it’s safer this way
no one has to know
Just me
as I scream
silently
trapped in a prison
I made myself
because I thought it would help me hide
from the shame
yet it seeps in
like floodwater
I’ll never really be free
Until I realize
Grace
has found me

 

Emotional Chocolate

It’s been a long time
Since I’ve indulged
in a weakness of heart
My resolve
dissolved
At the prospect
Of my heart
temporarily brought in from the cold
A warm fire
of flattery
A distant image of a dream
defrosting my frozen tears
of disappointment
Melting
In that moment
Alone with it,
not in a room
But in my heart.
Connecting
Always In a crowd
No words
Just that warm feeling

Exposed
As fraudulent
Known to be a lie
Distance is now kept
The truth at my side

But
There are days
In which I’m turned up side down
Less than, Worse than, Never going to be more than….
Frustration seething, Anger spilling
Lost in my own life.
And in that moment
It comes towards me…with a smile
And I see that chance
to find Respite
in Deception
Escapism
Knowing full well
How futile
Unreal
The illusion
Regret
Felling mental
then hopeless.

And So…
I look straight ahead,
Past
my Emotional
Chocolate.

 

 

© 2017 Timeline of Grace

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑