Ireland.

A distant memory some days. When immersed in a Marian Keyes novel, I find myself laughing hysterically and enjoying the dialogue , hearing it in my head as its written…yet at the same time forgetting that the reason I find it so funny and appreciate the humour is because I lived there for a stint.

When people asked me how I knew Elaine this weekend, you know, as they do at weddings..I replied that I lived with her for a year in Limerick. Well it was actually just over a year..but somehow in my memory it was a lot longer than that…yet at the same time…It’s become a memory now that is incredibly real one minute but then very fuzzy and distant the next especially when compared to the present.

When I think about the fact that I really only lived with Elaine for one year, and that Louise was practically living on top of us for that year…a close and constant companion to me…why does it feel like so much longer? It was an incredibly strange year for me on paper…but somehow those friendships remain significant in my life and have continued to. Sure they lasted beyond that year. There were subsequent visits and of course the whole dramatic event of my own wedding where I insisted they spend the entire week leading up to it with me, at my side. I suppose in the years where I tentatively settled into England, they were my constants. Although far away, I knew they were my true friends that I could rely on as I very slowly started to make friends in the UK.

My time in the UK before I had my own children and after leaving the sort of “single life” I had lead in Limerick was a bit of a no man’s land. I was working full time with teenagers, who I spent most of my time with, and then there were my fellow adults who were mostly married with young children. As I wasn’t quite there yet, I wasn’t really on their radar, so I was sort of too old for the teenagers and too young for the other adults. So although I wasn’t near them, during that time, Elaine and Louise’s  friendship continued to mean a lot to me because they were the closest friends I had this side of the Atlantic.

I had to miss Louise’s wedding due to us being in South Africa. I’m sure if you look somewhere in my blogs there will be some post where I’m grieving this fact. So when Elaine’s wedding date was set, I simply was not going to miss it. I had to go…..I had to be there. She’d been there for me…added her gorgeous violin playing to the worship at our service and stood as a bridesmaid for me..not to mention just being there during that insane week of  joy, stress and tears leading up to the day. Even though I’m not privileged to be part of the day to day of her life any more..I have this thing about honouring a friendship.

I suppose as well, there have been just too many wedding i’ve had to miss of good friends. I mean, really good friends. A good chunk of my friends who I was close with as a teenager got married while I was either saving up money to move overseas and the wedding was a considerable distance away, or else….I was overseas. The problem is, that when you are in a pattern of moving, you tend move somewhere, make good friends, and then move away before the significant events happen, then when you get to the new place…significant things happen to people, but you don’t know them well enough to be a part of  it. So you feel like you’re just missing out…not to be confused with being left out…because it’s not that at all..it’s just…being in the wrong place at the wrong time…even if its actually the right place.

So anyway, I was privileged enough to be a part of a special friends very special day.

Elaine..how do I describe her. She reminded me of a queen on her wedding day. A real queen. She held herself high and the word I’d used to describe her is exquisite. Much of the creative side of the wedding was borne out of her own creativity. She’s always had great ideas. When we shared a flat together, we traced ourselves on paper, and she then painted us. We put our images up on the wall so people saw us as we entered in!! It was great. She also came up with the idea of a guests book for our flat so to this day I have memories of all our visitors who came to stay with us there. She was highly intelligent and logical on one hand and then extremely passionate and creative on the other. If there is any modern day woman that can truly be compared to Elizabeth Bennet out of Pride and Prejudice…it’s Elaine.

There were times I felt a little intimidated living with her. She was of course a professional science editor working full time…while I was a slightly immature girl, fresh out of Bible college, in a slightly odd predicament living in Ireland and doing her best to grow up and work out the next step for my life. I definitely experienced the school teacher side of her at times….yet then I loved the times when she’d open up and I’d see the other side of her.

I will never forget one evening I read the entire Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe out loud to her while she just listened. I always see her sitting on our rather large comfortable leather couch in our basement flat in Limerick. She has a thoughtful look on her face….then she smiles. I loved the music side of her. Her playing the guitar effortlessly, practising her violin…at times entertaining our guests with our songs. A lot of the confidence I have now in my singing is down to the time I spent doing music with her.

She was wise….I could be quite foolish at times… I suppose she’d learned a lot of lessons already that I was sort of on the edge of, needing to go out there and learn myself. She never judged me though…..she had a lot of grace.

Anyway…words cannot describe how pleased I was to hear she was engaged. I sometimes got tears in my eyes just thinking about it. When she gave me the music for the wedding, nearly every song spoke so strongly from her heart and felt so privileged to give a voice to it for my part on the day.

I loved how she looked like a wood nymph..a fairy..but also like an incredibly strong woman..a queen..yet with that vulnerable side…she got it perfect on the day! Although I’d only just met her husband….I had this sense that he got her..he knew here…and that made me incredibly happy for her as well.

An added bonus to this whole thing was the time I got to spend with Louise and her new baby. She was my taxi for the weekend and I also got to know her husband a bit better as well.

The wedding was a whole pile of fun…a real country wedding. I stayed up far too late dancing and singing with mad Irish farmers and old friends. I enjoyed lots of cuddles with baby Rhys and all the marathon chatting with my precious Louise….time chatting with her is like…gold dust….it’s nourishing to my soul like nothing else.

I even got to have some quality conversation with Elaine as she did very well to stick around at her reception till 2:00 am!

So i’m back now..with some great memories. So thankful I got to be there. Thanks to Louise and Elaine for their friendship….I hope I can continue to give back in some way as time goes on.

Her verse for the wedding day was “You have saved the best…till last” from the gospels. and it completely sums up her love story with her new husband. I admire her so much for waiting on God for the best…it encourages me and blesses me in so many ways.