Growing up, the smell of brewing coffee was a familiar smell. My father loves coffee….it was the smell of the morning.  I also love coffee shops…you know, the evil chain ones!! Where no matter where you are in the world, you step in, and are immediately engulfed by a warmth and a familiar smell that makes you feel right at home. My Aunt and Uncle love coffee too, and  I have many distinctive memories of the smell of lovely coffee being poured into nice cups after a meal….always accompanied by some lovely desert.

Coffee makers are regular features in most American homes. They are as standard as having an electric kettle (which most American homes still don’t have) When I moved to Ireland I quickly got used to the ritual of boiling the kettle and then choosing between tea or freeze dried coffee. It wasn’t so bad. The instant coffee wasn’t as bad as the fine powdery stuff one associates it with back in the states. So I didn’t think too much about it. Until one evening, we were having a small group meeting from church, and my friend Marie was hosting it. At that time I didn’t know her well. She was a fellow American living in Limerick and working with the church. But when I stepped into her home that evening, it hit me. The smell of freshly brewed coffee. She has obviously invested in a coffee maker as a necessity, and as she was hosting a meeting in her home, she had done the traditional American thing of brewing a pot of coffee before everyone arrived. I was reminded of just how much nicer properly brewed coffee is. It was such a comforting feeling….being all cozied up in her living room, cup of coffee in hand. I felt at home. It’s the smell more than anything..the atmosphere.

So Jon and I are starting a new Life Group (small group/house group/house church/cell group) out of New Life Church. Our friends Dan and Jayne are joining us and together we really looking forward to it. Today was our kick off party. We invited several families over for a bring and share Sunday lunch and it was great fun. Kids were running around everywhere and conversations were buzzing. Jon made a massive pot of chilli, and we had to borrow plates from the church because we did not have enough ourselves. It was a really great feeling being able to open our home and have so many people over. Eventually we’re hoping to reach out into the estate we’re living on…and join in with whatever God has planned for this place.  For now though, we’re just focusing on establishing our group, forming genuine friendships, and gaining  a real  sense of community.

We want there to be a richness about our group. Not a material richness…but a sense that God has something to give us and wants to really meet us and be real in our lives.  Sometimes Christians have a bad reputation for doing things on the cheap. Custard creams and instant coffee after the meeting…that sort of thing. Although you could argue that’s being sensible and all that…we are wanting our group to reflect the blessing and richness of God in a way that helps people to realize they are loved, valued, and deserving of God’s goodness in their lives. So we’ve really pushed the boat out…and bought….a coffee maker. Actually it wasn’t that expensive….a small thing really…but I’m really looking forward to putting a pot on to brew this coming Tuesday….and everything else that’s going to happen with this group in the coming months!

Getting my body back. I laugh at that.

So many mothers talk about wanting to stop breastfeeding so they can “have their body back”

Ok..so Iona has weaned, and Judah is now feeding less….and do I feel like I’m “getting my body back??” Nope.

I’m gaining weight! All those calories I was shedding from breastfeeding are not being shed anymore..and I’m mindlessly still eating away…..so on come the pounds. Boo.

Before anyone jumps on this and tries to accuse me of of breastfeeding so I can stay thin….I can assure you that its not the case…however, I sure have noticed a difference since I have been making less milk.

And as Breastfeeding helps prevent several types of cancers…..I like to think that continuing to feed helps me have more of my body back in the long run..it’s kind of like a savings account. Sure, I have to “give a bit” to my kids, but its investing in my future health.

So today the news is all a buzz with the supposed “news” that researchers have found that breastfeeding may actually be “harming” children who are exclusively breastfed for six months. The “researchers” make a case for the fact that breast milk contains “low” iron levels, and that not introducing solids before six months may result in babies developing intolerances and allergies.

How will breastfeeding ever just become normal practice if it constantly debated, dragged into the media, and undermined by this kind of rubbish??? Why is the simple truth simply not upheld? Breastfeeding is normal. It’s kept humanity alive since the beginning of time…babies have started eating solid foods at various times….usually around the middle of the first year of life….and that exact point is different for everyone. But I’m not going to get into that here…or other reasons WHY the article is absolute tripe.

I am more concerned and upset about the impact that these sorts of news stories and headlines have.

I am concerned for the new mother who is breastfeeding her first baby and suddenly starts to doubt the value and quality of her milk.

I am worried for the pregnant mother who hears this and thinks in her head “oh well I guess I don’t need to really breastfeed if it’s going to harm my baby”

I am shocked that we hear newsreaders say things on national TV like  ”and now, to the confusion over breastfeeding”  Confusion??!! Seriously??!! We’re confused? If that’s what the national media is saying, what hope is there for mothers out there?

I am concerned that someone in the article states “well, it’s not like very many are exclusively feeding at that stage anyway…it’s vere rare”  Ouch.

So it shows people generally ignore advice anyway…I wonder why. Could it be partly the fact that the baby food industry aggressively markets its products and that their food products still say “suitable from four months”?? Is it any wonder that this “study” was funded by the baby food industry? That those who wish to support breastfeeding mothers are labelled as breastfeeding fascists, and that there is little NHS money allocated towards one on one mother to mother support? The kinds that works as proved by charitable organizations such as the NCT and La Leche Leauge.

I’m upset by the article because it’s undermining. In a country that is struggling to feed its own children, this is the sort of rubbish that just stirs up arguments and debates, and makes it about us and them, those who do, and those who don’t….it makes BOTH sides defensive. It enrages those who support breastfeeding and it gives ammunition to those who don’t support breastfeeding “see, it’s not so great!!!”

It’s just annoying. Not because of what it’s trying to say…but because of what it needlessly stirs up, and the damage it does to how we approach this non-issue issue.

Recently I was chatting to a mother at a local baby group. We were chatting about the subject of breastfeeding and what age to wean (as in, fully stop, not just start solids) and she said that although it was going well, and she could see herself happily carrying on for longer, in her head was her mother’s voice telling her that “women who breastfeed beyond a year are doing it for themselves alone, and are getting some sort of self indulgent pleasure from continuing” This isn’t the first time I’ve heard such sentiments expressed. Once when describing to a local nurse the various mothers and ages of children involved in our breastfeeding group,after hearing one of the ages of a child nursing she exclaimed “oh well, that is definitely just the mother doing it for herself in that case! it must be!!” Interesting. I wonder if women who makes such arbitrary judgement calls have ever experienced nursing a child over a year. I have also heard the “there are no real benefits after a year anyway” statement thrown around as well, which implies what? Carrying on breastfeeding beyond a year is pointless? harmful? silly? a waste of time?

Let’s look at this. Are there any “real” benefits to nursing a child over a year?

A mother’s body does an incredible job growing the life that is inside her, from tiny cells into a baby with a beating heart and breathing lungs and a brain. A miracle.  Then the mother’s body gives birth…an amazing accomplishment. After that the mother’s body continues to sustain the life it’s grown for the last nine months through feeding it. Physicians agree that the main source of food for the first year of the babies life should be breast milk. Although somewhere around the middle of the first year babies can start to experiment with tasting, touching, and playing with solid foods, breast milk should remain the babies primary food. So then what? At one year this flow of life from the mother’s body is abruptly cut off….because….it’s been a year, the baby is walking, talking, or some other indication that it’s “too old” for it’s mother’s milk…I think people are more freaked out about it simply because breasts are involved, and they may possibly be saying babies are “too old” to be in such close intimate contact with the mother’s breasts at this point.

Anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler has done research into the weaning ages of primates and mammals to determine a “natural weaning age for humans. Details of her study can be found here, but to sum it up, she determined a normal natural weaning age to be any time between three and seven years! Now before anyone starts freaking out at me, it certainty does mean people have to nurse this long, but for those who do find themselves feeding children beyond a year, it can be reassuring to know that this is physically natural for us as humans.

So what are the benefits of this normal natural behaviour? Have a look here.

So there may be just some benefit to continuing for the child.

And yes, there may just be some benefits to the mother….like these.

Why is it then that mothers who continue to nurse beyond a year are called selfish, self indulgent, eccentric, strange, weird? Why is it that if they do choose to carry on, it becomes a large defining factor of who they are. “Oh yes, that mother..the one STILL breastfeeding”

As someone who has found herself in the sustained nursing camp, I have not experienced any out and out criticism. No one ever says anything to my face….but I am sure they have thought these things about me. It shouldn’t matter, and it doesn’t. I am not saying all this to be defensive or to make a case for sustained breastfeeding. I just want to set the record straight for anyone who actually believes there is “no real benefit” and that the mother is doing it “for herself” and that it is a sick and self indulgent thing to do. Or worse, that she is spoiling her child and being an overly indulgent parent. Also, to encourage any mother out there who is feeling it’s time to stop, simply because they feel everyone else expects them too…that if they feel happy to carry on, there are a lot of good solid reasons to.

Another thing. I don’t think many of the mothers who find themselves nursing older children ever planned to. I think it’s something that simply happens. A lot of us started out taking it one day at a time…and this is where it’s lead us. So if you’re reading this and you have a new baby in arms and can not contemplate the thought of feeding beyond three weeks, let alone three years..don’t worry. Just take it one day at a time!

I am one of these people who likes to process. It must be a throwback to my mission trip days where we were constantly being asked poignant questions and being made to process our experiences so we could later articulate them.

So as Jon and I sat down for a new year’s eve Indian take away, I immediately started firing questions at him “highlights of the year???” “goals for the near year??”  etc.

So the things I’m looking forward to in 2011

Worship Leading…..I’m now officially co-leading a band for Sunday morning worship and we’ll be on every three months from here on out.  I’m a bit nervous, but also I know it’s time. It’s been something God challenged me about when I was in South Africa and I’ve been slowly making my way into it ever since. My time at Bible College all but shattered my confidence in any sort of musical ability I had…as it was totally left up to cream of the crop to do music and it was basically the philosophy that if you were not amazing, you were not worthy. I worked really hard and did my time just singing in choir for many years, never doing much more than that…but slowly I’ve managed to work my way to where I am now,  leading a band and I’m really loving it. My guitar playing needs work but I know it’ll only get better if I’m forced to get up there and do it, so I’m great-full for the challenge and opportunity.

Elaine’s Wedding!!! While I lived in Ireland, I had some great friends. My two best friends were Louise and Elaine. Elaine and I shared a flat during my second year in Ireland. It was a basement flat in down-town Limerick, and if I were look back and say there was any time in my life where I was just enjoying being single, social, and with not a lot of responsibility, it would have been that year. It was incredibly tough on one hand, being poor, not having a lot of purpose, and in a very strange volunteering arrangement, but on the flip side, I had some amazing God given friends that I made so many memories with, it’s hard to believe it was only a year I spent with them….it feels more like four or five years when I remember it, because the time was so rich. They both came for my wedding and were wonderful bridesmaids for me, kept me sane and put up with my meltdowns….and due to being in South Africa I had to miss Louise’s wedding which I found devastating…so now Elaine is engaged and I am so incredibly happy for her and pleased and I better be invited to the wedding! he he (not that it’s all about me or anything…ha ha)

Louise becoming a mother! Yes, my dearest Louise from Ireland is pregnant and her baby is due this year. I can’t wait!!! As my sister had her babies when I was a teenager and a little bit clueless, Louise having her baby feels like the closest thing to having a sister having a baby and I can not wait! Very excited.

Nicole and family coming to visit When you live overseas, it is very rare anyone comes to visit you…except your mom. Not that that doesn’t count…and I should be thankful for that…and I am…but yes, aside from the loyal mother…people generally expect you to come do all the visiting because in their minds, YOU are the one who LEFT, therefore YOU need to come visit them….. So I’m very happy that my dear friend Nicole from high school is planning a trip to see us with her family. It’s going to a mad squashed time with her husband, two children and my family all in the same house…but it’s people coming to visit and overseas guests are highly valued!! Now, I won’t actually really get excited until their tickets are booked but i’m putting it on the list in good faith.

Iona starting School. It’s a long way off yet, but it’s going to happen in 2011!! My little Iona is going to be going to “big school” I’m excited for her. I was home schooled when I was her age, so there is a little bit of me that is going to be vicariously experiencing this through her! It’s also so different here! There is uniform shopping to be done and labels to be sewn in and all that which is totally unfamiliar territory for me. Aside from that, it’s a big deal. It’s the beginning of a big adventure for her….and even though I’m surrendering her to the school system, I still plan on being very involved in the process and I’m looking forward to learning alongside her and all that school has to offer.

Completing my La Leche League application. I’ve been working on it forever now! I am nearing the end and hope to complete it soon. Then hopefully soon after that start a monthly support group here in Congleton for breastfeeding mothers. I plan to keep it low key and relaxed and simply want to be a place for mothers to find information that will help them.  Definitely am loath to give advice…..don’t want to be “health visitor clinic part II” Just want to be a haven for mothers who find they feel at home with the values of La Leche League, and a place of useful information for those still finding their way.

So that’s about it..for the big things. There is of course the ever present ongoing adventure of daily life, mothering, friendship, ministry, all that stuff that I do enjoy and look forward to growing in as well. I do hope to do more writing as well on this blog..but that will largely be up to computer availability…..