Tonight we caught up with some old friends. Not your normal run of the mill friends…but a certain breed of friends…….ones that are very close to my heart and have been since I’ve been a teenager. Missionaries. When one hears that word several different ideas come to mind. Most people probably think of super holy people who float around doing wonderful deeds at every turn and live in the darkest parts of our world.

When I was thirteen years old I had the chance to experience first hand what missionaries were really like. My parents put me on a plane, and off I flew south of the border to the little country of Guatemala, where I spent three weeks with a missionary family learning all about the various aspects of missionary life. Not just their lives, but several different missionaries lives in that country. From front line church planters, to the behind the scenes skilled workers, from Bible college professors, to mothers, looking after the home. In three short weeks i managed to get a taste of several of the things missionaries find themselves “doing” but what made the biggest impression on me…was not what they were doing….but who they were…their “being” so to speak.

I remember sitting around the dinner table with two different missionary families one evening, and just listening to them easily chat about everything from the everyday, to the extra-ordinary. I realized that I was sat among normal everyday people…they were not super humans, they were not super spiritual…but they were living incredibly rich lives…lives that were emptied out…but yet..were so overflowing with the goodness of God.

There is this kind of life we all see glimpses of…in TV adverts, and films…the kind of life our soul longs for….that we are scared to hope for because it feels unrealistic and foolish to dream of……but I can honestly say I’ve been the closest I’ve ever been to that sort of life….when I’ve been among missionaries. It doesn’t make sense. The TV adverts and films are usually trying to sell us something….telling us we need to have more in order to achieve that feeling..but missionaries…they live by completely different rules…but their lives are so full…so rich…it’s almost unreal…but it’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt.

And it’s not that missionaries live in some sort of alternative reality with their heads in the clouds, out of touch with reality…in some ways they are more in touch with reality than many of us…it’s just…who they are. I suppose i’ve been striving to put my finger on that all my life. Because when I sat there as a 13 year old that evening…I knew my life would never be the same….I wanted to be one of them. I wanted that life.

So tonight we had some missionary friends over. They’re only in the UK for a short while and we were lucky enough to catch them for an evening. Their kids are growing up and areall nearly teenagers now. It struck me how easygoing they all were. As they are used to visiting lots of different people in many different places, they did not at all find it strange to be having dinner in a house they’d never been to with people they hadn’t seen in nearly three years. They chatted easily with us and offered to help out. They were still kids. Playing up, being loud, a little wild….but they were in this lovely middle ground where the life had not been beaten out of them….(over disciplined) yet they were not completely wild (under disciplined)

I hope to get that balance right in my own parenting. I don’t want to be constantly shouting at my kids and sitting on them so that they never ever embarrass me or make me  or themselves look bad, picking on them over every little thing…yet at the same time I don’t want to be so permissive that they are out of control and actually unpleasant to be around. Many times when I am so called “disciplining” I wonder what my motives are. Often, it’s my own irritation, my own impatience, and my own fear of how I’ll look, or how they’ll look. Am I really trying to teach a lesson or am I simply “reacting”. Then there is the side to me that lapses. When I’m too tired to be consistent, when I opt for an easy life….when I miss opportunities to really teach. What a complex maze we have to navigate through as parents. But anyway…this is all quite random but I suppose the connection I am making is that….I’ve always loved missionaries, missionary families, missionary kids….etc. I spent some time with some lovely people tonight, and it was enjoyable having their kids around…and it reminded me of the kind of person I want to be…and the kids of kids I hope to raise..and it’s challenged me to keep living in that way…working towards that…even though the details of my own life are not so cut and dry right now….I’m still going to live with the same attitudes and principles that I admired so much as a teenager.

Five more Sleeps…..and I’ll be back in the land of the free, and the home of the brave.

I have been slightly overwhelmed recently by the amount of things that have been falling to pieces around me. So here it goes.

The classic “car troubles”

At the start of the month, the Polo’s clutch went in the Peak District. Both our phones were dead, and my husband had to hike to the nearest pub to ring the RAC while Iona, Judah, and I all dozed off in the car. So we had to replace the clutch and the guy at the garage grimly shook his head and made it clear that my beloved Polo did not have much life left in her. A few weeks later the Exhaust went…nothing like growling around New Life car park in the morning, waiting for someone to leave so you can actually park….trying not to meet the eyes of well dressed people on their courses, giving you strange looks. So that got fixed, but then just yesterday, it seemed to be making lots of noise again, but the guy at the garage assured me it was fine..i just needed to do another 1,000 miles on it, and it should quiet down. Let’s hope there another 1000 miles left in her.

The Housewife’s nightmare.

The washing machine….refusing to drain. The first time it happened, just before my friend Louise came to visit, Jon managed to press a few buttons and get it going again. Then over the weekend, it did it again, and every time I managed to get it going again, It would fill up, and then just stop. So after two days,  I managed to figure out it may be a blockage somewhere so Monday morning found me flooding my kitchen trying to manually remove all the water so that I could open the filter and get to the blockage. I must have drenched every towel in my house before I found a system of effectively removing it. In the end….a hair pin was found.

The boiler. Low pressure. It’s happened before and we’ve fiddled with all the various nobs and got it going again. This time, none of our fiddling worked and I was left having to boil the kettle in order to stay on top of the washing up. Very annoying. Then it suddenly fixed itself. Let’s hope it stays fixed.

Not the……..

Internet!! total disaster. Well, sort of. It’s actually the phone line. It’s all full of static so the internet connection goes in and out. When I tried to ring the Post Office to figure out what was wrong, I ended up with a crying baby and a whining child, and had to end the call because I had no understanding of what the person was telling me. So at the moment we’re trying to figure out who’s responsibility it is as we’re pretty sure the fault is with the house’s wiring etc. So with an intermittent internet connection, I’m realizing just how addicting I am to being able to sit down for five minutes in the middle of the day and simply connect with the world.

My laptop. Just died. But then it came to life again five days later. We’re not sure what’s going on with it but I’m trying to treat it gently. Of course I’m being blamed for “roughly handling it” even though it lives on a flat surface and I hardly move it.

There was also the morning Jon accidentally stole my keys and went to work with them. Then the times when I left my lights on and had a flat battery, and the time when Jon left my lights on and I had a flat battery. Iona is getting used to “the car not working” poor thing.

All this stuff is just that…stuff. It’s amazing the potential it has for stealing my peace of mind and making me all anxious and stressed. Anyway, i’m off to the states for awhile…hopefully to be refreshed and to reconnect with family and friends. I think I need it…

Is it actually this hot in May?? In England??? I don’t think it gets much better than this. Spring in England, and it’s actually hot outside. The sun is shinning and sinking into my skin and I am just lapping it up. There is something about being able to leave the windows and doors open.. in the evening. Most of the time if we are lucky to have a warm day here, it still goes pretty chilly by night. (memories of freezing to death camping in England) So this is just amazing..and to add to it, there are no mosquitoes!  It feels like a knifes edge though. We are promised this weather through the weekend, but we all know that it’s not as though Summer has arrived and is here to stay. All too quickly this balmy weather is most likely to be abruptly snatched from us, leaving us with endless rainy days. So we enjoy it while it’s here.

Warm summer evenings remind me of so many things….I had almost forgotten what it felt like to try and sleep when it’s hot out. Judah and I spent some time in the garden this afternoon. I love this six month stage. He’s crawling all over the place.  I remember when I was just 13 and my baby nephew Jake crawled on my back  and played with my hair while I laid half asleep alongside the lake. He’s graduating from high school this June! how scary is that? but now I have my own little squidgy six month old baby boy….and there is something magical about  happy babies and sunshine and lazy afternoons where you aren’t trying to get anything done.

Our Spring Flush is going well. So far the highlights have included a raw “cheesecake”, thanks to Ani Phyo, raw tabbouleh, thanks to this months The Mother, and several lovely smoothies….

I attended a Jamie at Home party last night. Lots of lovely non essential things for your kitchen. however, I did manage to buy something inexpensive and practical. A good quality glass jar that I can keep rice or lentils in. I will hopefully slowly replace most of my Tupperware with glass jars.

So summer is about to start. In a few days time I’ll be getting on a plane with two children and flying to see my friends and family in the States for the entire month of June.

Nothing real and raw to report…except I spent an incredible few days with my dear friend Louise last weekend. Sometimes I look back at my life and wonder how in the world I ended up here. Whenever I catch myself dwelling on the darker moments of the last ten years…I am rescued from that pit of negativity by the sight of my friend…my incredible friend Louise. I wonder if I didn’t go to Ireland simply because God knew I needed her in my life. After a decade of passionate affection for the place, I set off to Ireland with great hopes of immersing myself in the music and dancing and the culture….yet I came away from my experience there with something so much more valuable and precious than the haunting music or the breathtaking scenery. She is Ireland’s real treasure….and those of us who know her, know what i mean

So here’s to a great summer. May we have more warm balmy evenings….

Spring has sprung….well, sort of. It’s still cold a lot, even though we have experienced a few really lovely days.

So now it’s time to lose this baby weight..and generally detox.

I’m not into diets persay..but I do like to “clean up my act” and eat right. So for the month of May, Jon and I are doing a “Daniel Fast” Taken from the book of Daniel in the Old Testament where Daniel and a few other Israelites were in captivity in Babylon and were being trained in the kings service. Part of the training was to be given food from the kings table. But because the food was not suited to Israeli law, Daniel asked to abstain and simply eat vegetables for 40 days. Their master was worried they would be sick, and feared he would get in trouble, but after 40 days, Daniel and his mates were in better shape than anyone!

So it’s not JUST veggies. We’re eating veggies, fruit, brown rice, quinoa, oats, seeds, sprouts, and other yummy earthy things. Basically we’re cutting meat, dairy, sugar, caffeine, and wheat….oh, and anything deep fried…so no chips from the chippy!

So no cutting calories, God knows I still need them feeding a six month old boy. Just cleaning up the act.

So breakfast is mainly fruit. Jon’s having lots of fun with our blender making all sorts of smoothies. For lunch the other day I made quinoa for the first time. It’s a lovely south american grain and it is a complete protein and very good for you. I mixed it with some vegan pesto and some veggies and it was a lovely filling lunch.

For dinner I made “honey curried butternut squash” and served it over brown rice.

I’m snacking on nuts and fruit. I know I should be drinking more water….but one day at a time!

I look forward to seeing the results!!!